Wednesday, March 29, 2006
looks like things always do not turn out as we expect it to be
had drama today!
acted out my mime
hahaha
was really cliche or so i thought
it was bout receiving a break up letter frm my boyfriend
lol
im nt angry
im just angry at myself
how cld i be so stupid to go forth
im looking at the good things in life
its time i start concentrating on them
and not look at the down side of life
i wanna thank eric too!
thanks for calling and putting tt smile back on my face
love you loads!
XD
busy mugging for exams next wk
wish me all the best!
|linette| 8:30 PM|
Saturday, March 25, 2006
im not a failure
and i have a concience
now i realize how important trust is
chapel street today
was damn hot
nice shops there
had dinner at a korean rest up in carnegie
food was great
came hm
talked on d phone with mummy & bell
things happened
coincidentaly li liang called me t tell me they lost their dota match
and realized i wasnt feelin well
before i knew it
li liang was at my door again
i miss home
|linette| 11:45 PM|
Friday, March 24, 2006
okay
he shall b called my li liang frm today
thanks t dinah & aishan
aishan arrived this morning
bout 6am plus
i din sleep really well
was thinkin of my li liang
den when aishan came
we talked till lyk 9am den i had t go sch
had chem prac
was alright
gt a A+ for my previous prac
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
XD
rest of d day was alright
came back hm
put my stuff down den went city t meet dinah & aishan
went shopping
bought my pair of boots
yeah!
HAHA
had dinner at esteller77
d one back in sg
completely crapping during dinner
den on d way hm
was talkin t li liang
asking him bout majong when i realized i left my ring at d restaurant
so we went back
and
OMG
we saw him there!
at the same restaurant we were just now!
i was totally freakin out
din slp well las night
so i gonna slp early today
prob wake up tml mornin early t gt some wk done
cause im goin chapel street tml
even more shoppin!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
|linette| 11:21 PM|
Thursday, March 23, 2006
stop doing this to me
i come hm feeling frustrated and sad at the same time
i feel like bursting into tears
if not i feel lyk putting a bullet tru you
i just dont feel lyk talking bout it
leave me alone
|linette| 9:59 PM|
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
exams r drawing nearer
shit
went t watch comm games last night
gt tixs frm some ppl i met at arrow reception
it was really funny
lol
they guessed if me & dinah were s'poreans
den they said they were s'poreans too
they said they were here 4 comm games
asked if we went t watch
we were lyk no tix
he gave us 4 tixs 4 netball
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
so went last night
i remember always watchin on tv
ppl holding sg flag in d audience
last night i became one of those ppl
lol
we were playin against barbados
leadin up 2 2nd half
den we lost bout 10 pts
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
anyways just being there
and watchin it is an experience
weather is startin t gt hot here
i just dont understand d weather here
there's much less things goin tru my mind
but im constantly still thinkin of 1 thing
y cant i just gt it out
oh wells
gt tutorials t do
lecture notes t copy
and exams are coming soon
g too many things coming up
i hope it keeps me busy
|linette| 11:13 PM|
Sunday, March 19, 2006
OMG
i could just kil arrow!
they changed the WHOLE freaking server
gosh
lyk at such a crap timing
and only NOW did i get my internet connection
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
lets see
recap
wedwent tyi xian's place t see fire works
was nice
awsome
had fun crapping
and played majong
had nt played in ages
thurthanks t dear shawna
i din go for lit lecture
went t city library instead
luckily i made full use of my time there
XD
i acually studied!
fridinah came back
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
after sch
wen late night shopping with my gang
i din buy anything though
wasnt really in a spending mood
oh ya
bought a furry jacket & a half jacket on thur
kekekeke
was suppose t go lavish t club
but seeing how no mood we all were
we din club in d end
came hm
expecting my internet t work
it dint!
ended up watchin er zhuo ju
haha
satwent shopping with dinah!
bought a skirt pants necklace
i feel bad
spendin so much
but they were all sale items okay
haha
trying t convince myself only
went for cell at yi xian's place
after tt went t a cell member's hm for house warming
and guess who i saw
william!
small small small world
HAHA
sent shawna hm den he sent me hm
its great knowing guys who live at d same place as u
william kelwin
so if u go back late it wld b much safer
lol
going church soon
and most prob gonna sign my phone line ltr
means im gettin a new phone!
i dont see he point in using prepaid
so freaking expensive
my exam timetable is out
exam in 2 wks?
gosh
im thankful tt its only math chem & lit papers
haha
im just afraid of lit
i dont understand ANYTHING in my lit classes
horrible teacher too
okay im off t church!
|linette| 10:48 AM|
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
i din go HOI lecture today
gosh
i ended up going t MYER with shawna
bought another top
shit
im spendin non stop
I NEED TO STOP
I HAVE TO STOP
sch was really tiring
came hm
watched my ai qing mo fa shi
sth i can relate to
haha
den went down safe way
met william there
HAHA
small world
din do any tut tonight
nt gonna do any tml night either
cause im gonna see fire works!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
XD
|linette| 11:52 PM|
Sunday, March 12, 2006
taken frm sam's blog which she took frm maine's
i love this ( :
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her outof the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene of ten years ago.The following days were as simple as a cup of purewater: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy.
But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.Dew came into my life.It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls."Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn t help doing so.
I moved Dew s hands aside and said," You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I ve got something to do in the company." Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see withher. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slight joking way, "suppose we divorce, what will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint.
She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her,O.K.? Then we live together." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand."I've got something to tell you," I said.She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed thehurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. "I want to divorce." I raised a serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why?". "I m serious." I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "you are not a man!".
At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorceagreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. Sheglanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which waswhat I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.She passed me the agreement she drafted, and thenasked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?"This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, "I remember". "You carried me in your arms", shecontinued, "so, I have a requirement, that is, youcarry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning."I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce," she said scornfully. Her wordsmore or less made me feel uncomfortable.My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don t tell our son." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door.Shewent to wait for bus, I drove to office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outsidegarden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there." On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc.I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.I didn't tell Dew about this.I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now."She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carryher out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it s time to carry mum out." He said.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.On the last day, when I held her in my arms I couldhardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old." I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision.
I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious." She looked at me, astonished. The she touched myforehead. "You got no fever." She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn t value the details of life, not because we didn t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to ourchild, I am supposed to hold her until I am old.So I have to say sorry to you."Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loudslap and then slammed the door and burst into cry.
I walked downstairs and drove to the office.When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I ll carry you out every morning until we are old."
|linette| 11:48 PM|
i only had less than 3 hours of slp
yet im nt tired
whahahahaha
i got hm at 4+am
went clubbing
HORRIBLE
went with shawna & her friends
went t platform 1 first
but they checked ids
so we left
went over t blvd
crap!
they "claimed" they were full house
and wld only let ppl in at 230am
lyk wth
we ended up going t publicity
atmosphere was bad
or rather okay lar
no hot guys
drinks did nt get me high
some guy picked me up
okay looking
danced really well though
HAHA
too bad i was playing hard get last night
might go back next wk
depends on how my workload goes
going planet shakers ltr!
OH YA
yest was ISM welcome night at church
and guess who came?
william!
haha
praise god
clubbing-6/10
pass lar
HAHAHAHA
|linette| 3:06 PM|
Friday, March 10, 2006
was feelin a lil moody today
nt sure why
things going tru my mind
bad things
day started off with chem prac
pretty easy
lol
not lyk the ones back hm
den went back hm
ate lunch and slacked
went t meet MA GANG
hahaha
den went for chem lecture
first time din fall asleep
prob cause eugene was sitting next t me and entertaining me
hahaha
after chem lecture was maths tut
was alright
gt more hm wk!!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
field trip tml
hopefully its gonna be alright
gt t wake up early!
oh ya
how cld i forget t talk bout tonight
it was great!
arrow orientation party
met the usual
had dinner
performances
dance
hahaha
it was just great
had fun
alot of fun
but thoughts were still running tru my head
LEAVE ME ALONE!
|linette| 11:06 PM|
Thursday, March 09, 2006
|linette| 9:47 PM|
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
i miss home
i miss my family
i miss my friends
friends here are different
i dont know how
but just different
day two of proper sch
and its already killing me
i have yet t mug
shit
and i was still thinkin of shopping this weekend
i wanna buy a new bag & heels
prob some clothes too
been meeting a whole lot of new ppl
and guess what?!
im the only singaporean in my HOI&EAP class
great
having lit&drama tml
it better nt b lyk tt again
how i wish i cld just be oblivious to my surroundings
and just drown myself in my own world
escaping all the pain
all the thoughts
fuck it
|linette| 11:36 PM|
Monday, March 06, 2006
havin mood swings today
maybe its cause im starting proper sch tml?
oh wells
had cell yest at ing's place
it was great!
brought kelwin&claire along with me
gt to know so many other singaporeans
lol
left early cause had t go t a mini brmc gathering
met up with other brmc ppl
so cool!
millions of miles away yet i can still find ppl who go t do same church as me
HAHA
went hm early last night
for once
lol
went t church this morning
then had lunch
there was like 21 of us ( cell )
lol
went t chilli padi ( asian food )
had laksa
but sg's still d best!
brought kelwin
sarah
claire
shawna
down t d arts market
then came hm
chilled awhile
gt some stuffden met kelwin den shawna t go t sarah's place
had dinner there
homw cooked food again
shawna's mum cooked it before she left
lol
we all had t go hm early
cause we all start sch tml!
i guess im just being sensitive
i bring ppl together
true
but they somehow take my place
leaving with nth left
no1 takes notice of me
no1 knows i exist
yeah
maybe im jsut being OVER sensitive
|linette| 12:23 AM|
Saturday, March 04, 2006
im gettin home ltr and ltr
naughty me
went over t shawn's house last night
her mummy cook dinner
HOME COOKED FOOD!
ahhhhhhhhhhhh
the usual went
then we went downstaris her place t play pool&fooze ball
we were scremin instead of playing
hahaha
played till 11pm plus
then sarah left
then 1145pm we left
sent claire home
then came home with kelwin
the food
the fun
gosh
it was perfect!
yest afternoon had fair dinkum!
some fair for us t pick our "cca"
met william on the way
so he joined us
( :
he then brought us ard melb uni
went t a harry potter look alike building
lol
then we met huiling!
hahaha
small world
went back t union house
bought posters!
bought my rose
XD
the rest bought posters too
its now nicely up on my wall
NICE
had m&c lecture yest
was alright
pretty intersting
lecturer was strict but fun and d same time
i gt my timetable!
it sucks compared t alot of other ppl
but classes start at 9am
so im nt complanin
hahaha
going for cell ltr at ing's place!
all these would nt hav happened if it wasnt for god's grace
( :
|linette| 3:51 PM|
Friday, March 03, 2006
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
XD
i had a fun night
went t union house with
rachel
her friend
claire
shawna
sarah
kelwin
william
!
watched corpse's bride in lyk some outdoor cinema
movie was alright
but the company was awsome
walked shawna backed
den walked claire back too
before coming home
i had fun!
had lunch at some italian place
ate ceaser salad
cause i put on weight!
i need t go on a diet!
den went for maths class
the teacher was horrid
lesson was boring
omg
it was absolutly EWWWWWWWWWW
den there was this talk on usin the e portal
we were delibarating t go
but by d time we decided t walk in
it finished!
omg
went t shawna's place t slack after tt
crapped alot
watched tv
while kelwin fell asleep
HAHA
i have a freaking 9am lesson tml
bleaghx
|linette| 12:20 AM|
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
had breakfast at kelwin's place
honey ham with bread
french toast
chips
everything
hahaha
we all wasted so much time that we skipped some talk in sch
lol
screaming and messing up his room
laughing non stop
melb wld be really boring without them!
went t gt our student card
damn
my photo looks off!!
) :
then they walked me t my chem lecture
lecture was horrible
the lecturer's handwriting was horrible
couldnt see a thing frm where i was seating
met kelwin.shawna.claire after tt
they were having late lunch
so i joined them
then we walked back together
went back up t kelwin's place t gt our stuff
i swear we were all so tired we cld have just slpet there
hahaha
gt hm
slpet awhile
cooked pasta for dinner again!
( :
watched tv
din realize it was 11pm then i went t shower
sch starts late tml
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
|linette| 11:36 PM|